


No one left behind

by Castiel_1003



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fix-It, Force Dyad (Star Wars), Original Character(s), Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, What-If
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:01:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28172103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Castiel_1003/pseuds/Castiel_1003
Summary: A TROS fix-it fic.What if he survived ?
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey/Ben Solo
Comments: 9
Kudos: 25





	1. A second chance

Ben gave his lifeforce up, for he was finally able to act out of his own mind. Rey awoke from her last sleep and was surprised to find Ben holding her. She pushed herself up to sit straight. Ben was still holding on to her, looking relieved and searching her face.

“Ben” Rey smiled, touching his face where his scare used to be.

A moment passed where they just looked at each other finally able to take each other in as they were. Rey being overwhelmed with her feelings, took his face, and pulled herself close to him for a kiss. Ben reacting immediately pulling her close with his arm while his other hand still cradled her neck. With a feeling of urgency, they held on to each other and the time felt like it had stopped.

Ben realised in that moment that the voice which had been tormenting him for most of his life, were silent. For the first time in his life, he felt contempt and calm.

When they pulled away from each other Rey was smiling at Ben and his head felt so light, that he started smiling at her without restriction. They stayed in their embrace smiling at each other. Rey could feel his force in her, the life that he gave her. She felt so lucky that she hadn’t lost him.

Ben couldn’t remember the last time where he had felt so at ease and happy. His smile faded when it came to his mind that this would be their only moment like this together. He already felt that with giving Rey her life back his would end. The energy flushed out of his body and one moment he was still holding on to Rey the next Rey had to hold him so that his body wouldn’t hit the ground. Panic took hold of Rey.

“No, no, Ben” She searched his face, her fingers cradling his head the other hand holding his.

Tears were streaming down her face when Rey let herself fall onto his body. Her head was resting on his chest listening and hoping for a sound, but nothing. Rey knew she needed to leave, get out of this place but she could bring herself to leave him behind. So, she just closed her eyes letting the sorrow roll over her.

Lying there she felt a familiar warm presence in the force but her awareness towards it diverted with a beat of Bens heart. First, she thought she was imagining it but after the heartbeat Ben took a deep breath, his chest rising and falling with his heartbeat steady in the background.

Rey jerked up again searching his face. Bens eyes started to flutter and opened. He looked around disoriented until he found Reys tearful face. His mind wasn’t comprehending what was going on. For a moment he feared that they both died, but he had revived her. Bens thoughts where racing until he remembered.

The last thing he had felt had been Reys hand holding his when the darkness had taken him in. Sadness overtook him but the darkness offered so much peace that he let the sorrow for his life lost just wash over him and get lost with him in the never-ending depth of nothingness. Suddenly something had pulled him back to the light. He had felt hands on his checks and a warmth had spread though him, a love he hadn’t felt for forever. When he had opened his eyes his mother’s face in front of him and he felt like the little boy he once was. There had been tears in her eyes.

“I`m so sorry my son.”, she had whispered and had kissed him on the forehead. Even if she had not said anything else with the touch of her so many feeling and thoughts transferred to Ben. Leia’s sorrow and hurt for losing him in the first place for all that he been though and the wish to give all back to him rushed through him.

“I love you.”, was the last thing he heard bevor he felt himself being violently pulled back to the surface.

Rey was helping Ben sit up again, holding him steady. When she was sure that he could hold himself upright she let go just to take her hand and trace his face in wonder. Ben marvelled in the knowledge that she was still here; she still hadn’t left him, leaning into her hand. Rey was crying again but this time of happiness rather than sorrow. A moment passed with her hand on his cheek and Ben still breathing heavily. Abruptly Rey slung her arms around Bens neck pulling him close and cradling her head in his neck. After a second of shock about the sudden touch he returned he hug holding Rey close to himself until her tears subsided and both their breathing normalised.

Rey was the one to end the hug straitening herself and giving Ben an apologetic smile seeing the wet spot that her tears left on his shirt. He didn’t seem to notice but with everything else going on this was no wonder. It took a moment, but Rey was the one that finally broke the silence.

“I think we should leave.”, she said with a weary look around. Her whole body was aching as she scrambled to get up. She picked up the lightsabers, clipping them on her belt. Rey turned towards him holding her hand out for him to take. Ben hadn’t moved to get up, looking down at himself.

“I don’t know if I can.”, were the first words he spoke.

He looked up at Rey apologetic, heaving himself onto his good leg wincing at the pain surging trough his left side. Rey stepped forward realising that Bens injuries must be graver that she thought. With her last strength she took his arm around her shoulders helping him to stand upright.

“Do you think you can make it back to the fighters?” She could feel his unease through the force, but he just nodded.

It took them a while to get back to their fighters with Ben not being able to put any pressure onto his side and Rey also not completely sound. As soon as they arrived Rey helped Ben to sit against his Tie and climbing into it to find the medpack. After a moment searching, she finally found it and climbed back down to sit in front of Ben. She opened the pack up to see what she had to work with.

“I don’t think there is anything in there that could help.” Ben voiced, holding his side.

“Well, let me see.” Rey worried that he was right but moved forward towards him to inspect his injuries anyway.

She lifted her hand towards him but stopping midway, suddenly feeling reluctant about touching him. Ben could see her reservation in her stance and lifted his shirt himself on his injured side for Rey to see. Reys eyes flickered between his face and his exposed skin. She would have blushed if it wasn’t for the extensive bruising bevor her. It took her a second to collect herself bevor she crawled towards him, settling herself in front of him. Close enough that she could feel the heat radiating from Bens body. His breathing was restricted and the pain each breath gave him was plainly visible on his face.

“Can I?” Rey had lifted her hands towards his ribs. Ben gave her a short nod.

She softly settled her fingers on the dark bruises which made Ben inhale sharply. Rey immediately retracted her hand giving Ben an apologetic look, but Bens reaction hadn’t been just because of the pain but her cold fingers had given him a electric rush which was now warmly spreading tough his body.

Rey took out an injection pen turning towards Ben pushing up his sleeve as far as she could and without a word of warning stabbing it into his arm. Realising to late what she was doing and surprised at her sudden fierceness he winced and gave out a short ‘ow’ while rubbing his arm.

“Sorry” Rey smiled. “This is all I can do for you here.”

It took Ben a second to understand but when the injection started to dull the pain, he caught her meaning. He suddenly was very thankful feeling how each breath started to be easier.

“Thank you” he murmured resting his head against the tie and breathing silently for a while.

Ben relaxed his body, with the painkiller perfused through his body everything started to feel a bit fussy around the edges. He could feel Rey’s eyes on him. Ben was able to feel her wonder through the force but was surprised how low it was compared to how he had felt her bevor all the time. He opened his eyes again. Rey quickly looked away, blushing.

“What now?” Ben suddenly felt a fear bubbling up, that she would leave him here. After she realise that she couldn’t do anything more for him. He would understand it if she would leave him, it was the rational thing to do. With all the things he had done he would deserve it.

Even though their bond wasn’t as strong Rey could feel Bens trepidation like he was screaming at her. And even if their bond wouldn’t have existed at all she still would have seen it in his eyes. What she wasn’t sure about what had caused his sudden anxiety. She furrowed her brows.

“What do you mean?” she asked. “We need to get you to a medic station. Do you think you will be able to fly?” Ben saw something in Rey’s eyes that pushed all his doubts in the back of his mind, her determination infectious giving him a push to lift himself up to stand and lean against the fighter. Giving Rey an affirmation to her last question.


	2. Back on base

Bevor leaving they had settled on Ben landing outside of the base out of sight. Rey would get him and find a spot for him to receive medical care.

They had talked about how best to approach the situation and settled on Ben lifting off when the resistance had left Exagol. She had told him without hesitation where the resistance had their base and explained to him that he should land on the north side of the base where he would be hidden from wandering eyes. Rey would then come for him and securing him some medical attention.

She had taken a step towards him, resting her palm against his chest. Ben had lifted his hand on top of hers listening to Rey’s low voice telling him that she would see him soon. With that she had turned, climbed into her fighter leaving Ben behind.

Rey was anxious when she arrived at the base. People were congratulating her, but she almost didn't take it in. Her eyes were searching for specific faces in the crowd. It didn't take her long to find Finn and Poe together, holding on to each other. Their sights crossed and their faces lit up. They hurried towards each other ending their walk in a big hug holding Rey between them.

Finn was the one ending the hug, taking a look at Rey.

"What happened?" He inquired.

"That is a long story." Seeing Finn questioning face, she continued "I will tell you. I promise but there is something I have to do first."

Rey wasn't sure how to explain anything, but she knew that there was something more important to do at this moment. Feeling Ben through the force arriving at the base.

Finn was still not satisfied with her answer and when she turned to walk away, he just followed her, grabbing Poe’s arm and pulling him behind him.

Rey opened her mouth to object but closed it shortly after realising that she might need help to pull this off and there wouldn't really come a better time to tell them. Even though she dreaded the confrontation.

When they walked far enough away from the base that the voices where just background noise Poe voiced his questions.

"Where the hell are we going? Where are you taking us?"

She had been wrecking her brain the whole way about how best to approach all this but hadn't found an answer to her problem. Now they had almost arrived at the spot Ben had landed his Tie and she could sense him nearby. Rey abruptly stopped walking and turned towards Poe and Finn.

"Okay. I don't want you to overreact to what comes next or to react at all for that matter. I just need your help with this, and I will explain all of it later." Rey exclaimed in one breath, just blurting the words out.

"What is going on Rey. You are scaring me." Finn took a step towards her putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Please just trust me.", she was pleading, looking into Finns eyes.

Both Poe and Finn gave her a nod. Rey turned around and after just a short walk the Tie was visible through the trees and shortly after you could see Ben leaning against it.

Rey walked towards Ben without looking back at Poe or Finn, something pulling her towards Ben which she couldn't resist. His dark hair was all over the place and he was a bit hunched over from the pain radiating from his ribs.

She put her hand against his face pulling it up and giving Ben that now already familiar jolt of energy which ran through his body every time she touched him. She looked exhausted but still looked at him with such power and energy that he couldn't imagine that just a while ago he had held her limp body in his arms. The memory made him wince.

Rey was just looking at him when a tortured sound came from his lips, reminding her of his injuries and bringing her back to her current situation. Exactly at that moment she also herd Finn.

"What the fuck Rey? What is he doing here?" Finn strode with two long steps towards them only to be held back by Poe who now voiced his concerns.

"I think we'll need that explanation now Rey."

To Rey’s surprise Poe looked more curious than angry which gave off quite the contrast to Finn who was boiling with anger. Rey bit her lip fumbling for an answer.

"I told you this is a longer story." She halted, formulating a cohesive sentence in her mind.

"I think for now all that matters that he saved my life and that we wouldn't have won like this or at all without him. Everything else can wait till later."

As to underline her statement Ben swayed only held upright by Rey and the Tie on each side. The pain was nauseating and pushing him towards unconsciousness with the pain meds starting to fade.

"Please" Rey was pleading "he needs to go in a medbay."

She looked between Finn and Poe back and forth waiting for a reaction. What would she do if they refused to help or even turned Ben in? She hasn't though this trough. Blindly believing that they would trust her with this without hesitation. Panic started to take hold of Rey, her mind racing, thinking of a way out and a solution to her problem. Tears started to pour out of her eyes feeling helpless and exhausted trying to hold Ben up while she felt him slipping away.

Poe was the one to speak first. "What do you need?"

Rey was pulled out of her thoughts with his statement.

"I need to get him medical attention. He has broken ribs and a twisted ankle. At least from what I've seen. I know this is not the best place, but I don't think anyone will recognise him and I hoped you would listen to me bevor-" she stopped herself panic rising deep inside of her.

Ben had lowered his head onto her shoulder, his breathing flat and his pain pushing itself into every fibre of his body. He tried to calm Rey with his mind feeling her getting unhinged which at least had made her stop talking.

Finn hadn't moved or said anything at all, just plainly and angrily staring at them. But with Rey’s tears coming and her stammering even Finn could not push her away. Still with a sour taste he agreed to help them.

Together they brought Ben to a med tent and set him down in a corner cabin. Rey helped Ben lay back on the bed hardly able to breath anymore. A meddroid appeared attending to Ben without any comment. Ben was now unconscious after the droid had given him something to sleep and the last thing he felt was again Rey’s hand in his.

The droid diagnosed Ben and directly started to work on his wounds. Rey had stepped back letting the droid work but watching Ben's face. He looked so young with his face relaxed and his hair messy around his head.

Finn had waited outside the cabin and only Poe was right behind her. She felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Come on. There is nothing more you can do for him for now. I think you owe us an explanation."

Rey just nodded and reluctantly followed Poe outside. They walked far enough to be out of earshot of other people and settled down on some crates. Finn had calmed over time and was intent to hear Rey’s story.

Again, she struggled for words. Not able to voice what it was between Ben and her and not knowing how to explain what happened.

"We're waiting" Finns patience was running out.

Her throat tightened and her mouth went dry.

"I don't know where to start." Tears again ran down her face more from exhaustion than anything else. She decided she would keep it short.

With a tear spread voice and restrain she told them shortly of the bond letting out the details. She told of their fight on Kef Bir and how she stabbed him right when she had felt Leia through the force. The memory made her start crying again. With a timid voice she explained that she had healed him there not being able to let him die. She took a few breaths to calm herself again and continued with her story.

"When I arrived on Exagol I found Palpatine. He wanted me to kill him to become empress. I almost did it when he showed me the resistance dying. I- " she shook her head as to get the memory out of her head.

"Ben came." Rey simply continued. "He gave me hope that I wasn't in this alone. But he didn't anticipate for Palpatine. He tore our lifeforce from us and I fell unconscious. When I woke up Ben was gone. I fought Palpatine overpowering him and, in the end, destroying him but it cost me everything."

She paused here the memory giving her shivers down her spine.

"I died." She exclaimed. "I was dead and Ben, he brought me back giving his own live."

She stopped there marvelling in what that meant.

"Then how come he is alive?" Finn poked.

Which got him a scolding look from Poe who after that agreed with Finn.

"He is right though, how?"

"I don't know. One moment he went limp lying there without a heartbeat the next he comes back to himself."

Rey hadn't really thought about it that intense just being overall relieved that it had happened.

"I get why you wanted to help him. But we can't just ignore what he had done." Poe gave Rey an apologetic look.

Poe had seen in the way Rey looked at Ben that there was more than just gratitude for saving her. But even if all that was true, how could they know if he was friendly towards their cause or if this alliance was only towards Rey and if it was only towards Rey would that be enough.

When Rey didn’t give him a reply and was just looking lost into the woods, Poe signed grabbed Rey’s shoulder to get her attention. “We will talk about it tomorrow. I have to get back and you should let the meddroids have a look at you.” Now turned to Finn. “Are you coming?”

“I be there in a minute.” Finn answered with his eyes fixed on Rey.

Rey had seen the concern written all over Poe’s face bevor he left Finn and her alone on the crates. Surprisingly, she couldn’t find any of that concern on Finns face. He still looked angry. She examined Finn not able to put a finger on what it was what was going on in his head. Was he angry that she had brought Ben here? That she had forgiven him or what she felt for Ben -even though she wasn’t sure how he could be angry about that if she didn’t even know how she felt about Ben. Now she was getting angry with Finn still just starring at her. Couldn’t he just spit it out. But bevor she could voice her thoughts Finn finally talked.

“Why haven’t you told me any of this bevor?”

It wasn’t only the situation in itself that he was angry about more so her keeping it a secret. Rey gave Finn a remorseful look. She knew that her friend wanted to help her, and she had shut him out. But she thought they wouldn’t understand, maybe it was herself that didn’t understand any of it. She only knew that there was a connection that she couldn’t deny any longer. She feared the judgment she already was pouring over herself.

“I´m sorry. I didn’t know how to tell you. I wasn’t sure you would understand and I –“she lowered her voice as if saying it quietly would make it less true. “-I didn’t want it to be true.”

Finn remained silent for a while. When he spoke again his face had lost a bit of his anger.

“Is there any more secrets, anything else you want to tell me?”

Rey couldn’t hold Finns gaze and had to look away, well aware that there was a lot more she should tell him but wasn’t ready to do so yet. On the other hand, she didn’t want to lose her friend or anger him by keeping him in the dark.

“There is more. But nothing that is from importance now.” She simply said. “I will tell you.” She promised. “Can you give me time?”

Finn seemed to mull it over in his head. Even though he could not understand how Rey could be this friendly with Ren, he could see how torn Rey was about the whole situation. As hurt as he might have been that she had kept this from him, the whole thing with the force was kind of her thing alone and he had to remind himself that he also hadn’t found the time to talk about some things with her.

Finn got up from his crate kneeling down in front of Rey. “

I want to hear it all. I will not let you off the hock that easy, but I think I get it. We will have some time now to really catch up.” He got up, pulling Rey on her feet in the process and inclosing her in a hug.

“Even if I totally not agree with Ren being here or trust him one bit. If it’s true that he saved you. I can at least be thankful for that. I wouldn’t know what to do without you.”

His words made Rey start crying again, holding him close. He pulled back and looked at her.

“You should get yourself sorted and checked out – “, he touched her head where the dried blood stained her skin. “-and I should find Poe and help.” Finn tugged her in another hug bevor they started walking back.

Finn went to find Poe and Rey automatically walked back to the Medtent. She knew that she needed to get cleaned up but again something pulled her towards Ben, and she was still too worried to not check on him.

Nothing had changed, he still lay in the cabin unconscious. His shirt had been cut off for them to be able to work on his bruised side, the same applied to one of his trouser legs. The same Meddroid than bevor came into the cabin, applying various things on his leg and ankle.

“How is he?” Rey inquired.

“All his injuries will heal nicely. He will be kept under for a bit longer, until all his wounds have been dealt with. But even when the meds wear off the exhaustion will keep him asleep.”

A young woman had entered answering Reys question. She looked at her datapad furrowing.

“We don’t have a name in our system.” She turned to Rey.

“Ben.”

It looked like she was wating for more but let it fall when Rey didn’t give her anything else. The woman put in the name and checked something else on the pad. When she looked back up the woman looked Rey over.

“Have you been checked yet?”

“No, but I´m fine.”

“Well, there is blood on your forehead, and I would feel better if we would check for any damage. Maybe when you have cleaned yourself up you should come back here.”

Rey looked back to Ben. She didn’t want to let him alone here again. The woman continued.

“He won`t wake up for a while now.”, registering Rey’s hesitation. “He will still be here asleep when you come back after you freshened up.”, the woman reassured her.

Rey looked back at the woman giving a short nod.

“What`s your name?” Rey suddenly realised she hadn’t asked nor had the woman introduced herself.

“Korra.” The woman smiled.

“I`m Rey” she offered.

“I know how you are. I don’t think anybody here doesn’t know how you are. But it is nice to really meet you.” Korra said with a small smile on her lips.

Rey wasn’t sure what to answer to that and again just nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With so many good stories out there I hope that I added one that puts a smile on some of your faces the way a lot of stories on here did for me.  
> There will be some angst, sadness and sorrow but I promise that whatever happens on the way I won't let this story end without the feeling of hope.  
> I don't yet know how many chapters it is going to be and I can't promise on a regular update. Sry.   
> But nevertheless I hope you enjoy. :)


	3. Many open questions

The shower had done wonders. She felt a little bit like herself again. With new clothes on and a bit more awake again Rey had gone back to the medtent to keep her promise to get checked out but if she was honest to herself, she just wanted to get back to Ben.

Inside the tent she was intercepted by Korra and led to another cabin where a meddroid checked her and treated her headwound. Surprisingly, nothing else was wrong with Rey other than the headwound and the accompanying head trauma. Korra let her off with the instruction to take it easy for a bit and to come back the next day to let them check on the wound again. Korra looked down to her datapad, pressing on a few things. After she read something on it, she looked back up at Rey.

"He won't get another dose of sedative. Meaning the last one will wear of soon. I can't promise he will wake up. A lot of people sleep it off. The body normally knows when he needs time to rest." Korra explained.

"Thank you" Rey wasn't sure what else she should be responding.

After a look at Rey, Korra continued. "Or maybe the body doesn't know. At least looking at you here. You need some sleep or any kind of rest."

But as if Korra could read her mind she just shook her head and said, "well at least let me get you something to sit on while you wait for him to wake up."

She walked out of the cabin ordering a droid to get something to sit on and then continued to put it into the corner cabin where Ben was lying. Rey a been overcome with Korras help waited until she had come out of the cabin again, quite aware how small the area already was without anything to sit on in it.

Rey thanked Korra who just waved it off and let Rey alone in the cabin.

Ben still lay motionless in the makeshift medbed. Even though the bed itself wasn't particular small, Ben's huge frame made it look tiny. Rey stepped next to his side unsure on how to act. It still felt unreal him being here this close to her. Lying here in front of her, sleeping, he looked really young. His facial muscles all relaxed there was no trace of his former self left. Seeing him like this she could see a young version of Ben that had not yet succumb to the dark. The urge to touch and protect him suddenly become overwhelming and undeniable.

Rey lifted her hand to let it glide over his forearm towards his hand. As soon as their skin connected a rush of images appeared in her head. First it was so surprising and overwhelming that it took a moment to realise it was coming from Ben and she jerked her hand back. She let out the air sharply which she had been holding. The sedative clearly had worn of because she had checked his mind bevor she had left to get cleaned up to make sure he was alright. But this was a lot louder and more forward than she had expected.

After she had calmed herself and convinced herself that it wasn't crossing a line to intrude his open mind, she sat down into the chair and put her hand around his wrist.

A new flash of images rushed into her, but they were all changing too quickly that nothing of it made sense. The only clear thing she sensed was Ben's confusion, restlessness and maybe a hint of fear. But Rey couldn't deceiver where these feelings where coming from. When all of it stared making Reys head spin, she tried to calm Ben's mind. She centred herself, started the breathing exercises she so often used, pushed all her worries away and send the calmness settling in herself over to Ben. His mind soon reacted to it, calming itself and the images faded.

Rey pulled her hand back, settling herself onto the large but empty box Korra had placed next to the bed. Rey still felt Ben trough the force their connection weak but ever so present. She still pushed her mind to cover his in her content feeling. Knowing he was alright and her attempt to calm him, had set on motion a weariness in herself and suddenly she couldn't hold herself upright anymore. Rey let herself sink to the box until she lay sideways on it facing Ben. Maybe she really needed some rest. She watched Ben's chest fall and lift over and over again mulling her into a deep sleep.

******

When he came to, he wasn't sure where he was. It took several moments for him to remember the hours bevor he got there. As all slowly came back he registered a faint breathing next to him. He turned his head to find Rey curled up on a box which was standing next to the bed. A warm feeling build up in his chest seeing her here, when she could be anywhere else.

She looked wonderful. Rey clearly had washed up and changed clothes and there was patch on her forehead most likely covering a wound. Other than that, she looked sound. Her lips were ever so slightly parted, and eyes closed she was obviously sleeping. Why hadn't she gone to bed, it couldn't possibly be comfortable on that box. For whatever reason she did it he was thankful, he didn't want to be alone.

Ben could also sense Rey the sensation giving more relieve than he ever could put in words.

He shuffled himself a bit further up, pushing the pillow down to his lower back. Doing so he realised that his shirt was missing and just the thin blanked had been covering him. There was cold compress over his bruised side and one lag of his trousers was missing replaced by different things that were supposed to heal his twisted ankle faster. He pulled the blanket upwards uncovering more of his legs but concealing more if his chest. By doing so he had made a movement that hurt more than anticipated which made him wince, in the process waking up Rey.

Ben heard Rey move and directly got angry at himself for waking her. She sat up rubbing her eyes not fully awake yet. As soon as she spotted him looking at her a smile spread on her face.

"Ben."

She almost jumped up to take a step towards him and enclosed him into a hug. The surprise was written all over his face, but it just took a minute to adjust for Ben to sling his arms around her. She let go way too soon for Ben's liking but when Rey looked at him, he could see her rose checks. When he followed her eyes, he realised that the thin blanket had slid down and his skin was bare. The realisation made him blush and look down in an effort to conceal his awkwardness. Rey had taken a step back at the sound of someone coming in.

Korra had entered the cabin unaware of the awkwardness in the room.

“So, I see you are awake. Rey told me your name is Ben.”

Ben feeling very aware of himself could just nod.

Korra raised her brow. “Got a last name, handsome?”

Ben had been watching Rey but jerked his head towards Korra reacting to her remark. Scrutinizing her his mind ran trying to figure out why she was making fun of him and what to answer to her question. Ben looked past Korra back at Rey. Giving his last name could make problems for Rey and even more if somebody knew who he was and what he had done he would be in danger. It was clearly written on Rey’s face that she was thinking the same thing. There had been a reason why she hadn’t given the woman only his first name.

Ben finally answered, “No, it’s just Ben.”

Korra shrugged letting it fall. She looked Ben over and continued as if everything was normal.

“I´m sorry we had to cut you shirt of and destroyed for pants. I never seen you here bevor on base therefore I assume you have no change of clothes.”

When Ben gave no answer Korra took it as a conformation and continued.

“I see to it that you get a change of clothes. I have a feeling you want something similar in colour scheme to what you wore. I see what I can do but can`t guarantee anything with your size and all.” She gave Ben a teasing grin and giggled as she turned to exit the cabin.

Ben a bit flustered managed to give a short thanks which Korra acknowledged with a smile and a nod.

Rey wasn’t sure how long she had been asleep and therefore didn’t know how much time had passed. Her growling stomach was an indicator but then again, she was always hungry.

“You should go eat something. I`ll be fine here.” Ben interrupted Rey’s train of thought.

She didn’t want to just leave him here alone, but her stomach protested her initial plan. She could just get some food.

“Are you hungry?”, she knew she needed to give fuel to her body but also couldn’t wait to talk to Ben. All this was a lot to unravel and she knew he would be the person who would understand her the best.

“Actually, I could eat something. But I don’t think they will let me out of here yet.”

Rey gave him an dismissive wave. “I didn’t think they would, but I could get something for us. I`ll be back in a bit.”, with that she turned around and vanished.

A droid came a moment later escorting him to a shower. He placed a folded batch of fresh clothes and a towel near the entrance an proceeded to help get Ben out of his clothes which was more of a struggle that Ben had anticipated and was accompanied by a lot of pain. Balancing on one food he turned on the water letting it wash over him. He hadn’t realised how much he had needed the shower, still being fazed to much by all that had happened.

Back in the medtend in his cabin when the droid reapplied all the medical patches, he realised that the shirt might be a bit too tight when he struggled to get it back down after the droid had finished his work. Seeing the problem Ben asked the droid if he might be able to get him a bigger shirt.

******

It had taken Rey longer to get food than she expected but everywhere she went people wanted something from her and even though she was able to talk her way out of all of it she realised that her luck wasn’t better at the food station being overrun by hungry people celebrating their win. After getting all the food she was just looking forward to hiding in the medtent still not used to this many people around her.

When she walked into the cabin she froze in the entrance. Ben was sitting upright on the bed legs hanging down on one side and his arms where in the air struggling to put on a shirt. The shirt still in the air Rey got a full look of Bens whole torso. She knew she had seen him like this bevor, but her memory wasn’t even close to what she had bevor her. A heat that had started in her chest rose into her checks, making her feel guilty for staring. He finally succeeded in putting on the shirt when he noticed Rey unaware of her feelings. His dark eyes now lingering on Rey who was still frozen.

Ben was too preoccupied with getting dressed to notice Rey right away. When he finally got the shirt on without hurting himself too much, he saw her staring at him. She looked uncomfortable, her checks were a slight colour of rose and her eyes bore into him that now he started to feel uncomfortable.

In that moment he first registered that she had to big plates filled to the brim with all sort of things, under her left arm was a basket with bread and under the other was a bottle with two cups balanced on top. Bens first thought was who the hell was supposed to eat all that but decided not to make a stupid remark on it. Breaking the tension building up in the space he settled back on the far end of the bed, his injured ankle stretched out to keep it elevated and folded his other leg in to make room in front of him for Rey. She understood his gesture and placed the food on the bed in front of Ben and climbed on the bed herself.

Ben was still surprised that Rey would want to spend time with him. He had tried to give her excuses to leave, because he didn't want her to feel obligated just because of the whole situation. But was therefore was even happier when she made up reasons and ways to stay with him.

Now settled bevor him he wondered what she was thinking. He still was able to feel her trough the force, her general demeanour, but he realised just how weak their bond was compared to bevor. It scared him more than he liked to admit to himself. What if she liked it better this way, not being connected to him?

Rey was pouring them some drinks, pushing one of the cups towards Ben. He was still intently looking at her trying to figure out what she was thinking. When Rey noticed his eyes on her she looked up blushing which made him tear his eyes away towards the plates in front of them. There was a tension building in the room he didn’t like and in an effort to break it he just dove in.

"What are you thinking?" He asked her bluntly.

Rey looked up at him, food in her hands ready to inhale it.

"Ehm. What do you mean?"

"I mean - " suddenly he felt wary about being this forward his initial confidence gone. He took a deep breath. "Normally I can figure out what's going on in that head of yours fairly easy, but now."

Ben furrowed his brown, vexed by his cluelessness.

He continued, "I can still feel you." Ben closed his eyes concentrating on the feeling. "But if feels weak as I'm seeing your trough a fog."

He opens him eyes again fixing them on Rey. The food she initially picked up was now back on the plate.

"I feel it too. I wondered if it was just me. But I also feel like it got stronger again to how it was right after..." She let the sentance unfinished and gave out a short snort shaking her head. "When I think about how many times in the beginning, I had wished for this bond to go away." Rey apologetically smiled at Ben.

"Now you don't?"

"No." She looked down grabbing some food and obviously avoiding any eye contact. "If I'm honest with myself and I haven't been for a while now. I didn't want this to go away for a long time now."

Ben was left speechless. It still surprised him that even when he was still actively on the enemy’s side Rey had wanted to be connected to him. Ben struggled to find words to describe what he was feeling. When he found himself unable to communicate what he was thinking he took Rey’s hand in his, electricity rushing through him when they touched.

Ben pushed the gratitude and happiness he was feeling to Rey. Seeing in her eyes that she understood he let go of her hand not wanting to push her, but Rey held on to his hand. Her shimmering eyes full of emotions she answered him on the same way. Pushing over a warm feeling that oozed trough him like honey, answering the question he had asked in the beginning.

She was relieved that he was alive, immensely thankful for saving her live, happy to be here with him and hungry. She giggled when the last feeling swept over pulling her hand away.

"I think my brain is telling me something." She started eating.

Ben still lulled in the warm feelings Rey had shared and took a moment to collect himself in the present.

"Thank you." He whispered.

Rey looked up again but not responding, but Ben knew she understood. He took some food of the plate and started eating himself.

******

They had eaten in silence, Rey to focussed on the food in front of her. The had eaten all she had brought from the food station only realising then how hungry she had been. They had talked a bit after, but she was fighting against herself falling asleep. Ben caught on to it and convinced Rey to go and get some real rest. Now she was lying in her bed her body was screaming for sleep, but her mind wouldn't quiet down for her to fall asleep.

Too much had happened in such little time that her mind hadn't quiet caught up to the reality. Her mind circled around her friends around the lives lost, the meaning of her parentage, Leia’s death, and Ben. Wherever her mind leads her it came always back around to Ben. He had come back for her. The way it had felt when they connected on Exagol was extraordinary. It never had been like that bevor. It had felt right and good. But now it was only like an echo of that feeling. She turned onto her side trying to get comfortable. It scared her how she longed for that connection, for that feeling. Was the bond gone? Or was is just dormant? Would it feel the same? What should they do about Ben? What did he want to do? Rey mind spun out of control when question after question buried themselves into her head.

Stopping herself from working herself up she searched her mind for something calming. Landing back at the memory of Ben when they found each other in Exagol. The reassurance that had flooded her, the feeling of belonging, it had felt like coming home. She wanted that back that much she was sure of.


	4. A lifetime ago

The morning had been busy. He had always known being general would come with a lot of work, therefore he was even more glad to have Finn by his side. He couldn’t imagine anyone else that he would trust like this. Poe watched Finn in thought working on the datapad. They would have a full day ahead with this new era beginning. Poe looked around watching all these people that counted on him to lead the way.

He spotted Rey who was heading towards them looking a lot better than she had the day bevor. Neither of them had seen her after they had talked about the situation, but Poe knew from Korra that Rey had spent most of the day by Ben's side.

When she approached them, Poe felt Finn shift next to him. On his face the mixed feelings that he was trying to hide. They had a short conversation until Rey guided them towards the topic which really was on her mind.

“Have you talked with anybody about Ben?”

"No. We haven't told anyone about it. You brought Ben here. He is your responsibility. Even if we don't act on it when don't like it very much. But you should get ahead of it because I can't help you if anyone finds out." Poe gave Rey a hard look to make her understand.

He trusted Rey and when she believed in Ben, Poe would not oppose her, which he clearly couldn’t do anyway, but he would not put himself between anybody for that man. Poe wasn't sure how some people would react to him being here.

Rey’s face hardened her eyes staring back at Poe then shifting toward Finn who had been silent throughout the whole exchange. But she was getting nothing from Finn who was feeling even more against it than Poe. For all the love Poe knew Finn had for Rey the anger towards Ben or more Kylo Ren was stronger. But Poe had to admit that what he had seen so far of Ben had nothing to do with Kylo Ren but rather reminded him much more of the boy and later young man he had ones known. But did that make a difference in the end? That man still had done all the things Finn felt so strongly about. Poe just couldn't say. Rey apparently had understood Finns silence and just gave a short nod and left the two men behind.

******

Ben had a restless sleep with voices keeping him from sleeping sound. They weren’t the voices he had grown used to throughout his life but rather memories of them. He had awoken early and given up falling back to sleep. Therefore, he was still feeling tired when Korra entered the cabin to check on him. A droid who accompanied her checked all his injuries giving Korra the update.

“This looks really good. I`m almost sad about it.” She gave him a sly smile. “I hoped I could see your handsome face for longer. But I already suspected you would heal fast. I mean with being force sensitive and all.”

Ben needed a moment to work his mind around her comments. “What do you mean?” Ben asked dimly.

Korra gave him a knowing look. “Come on. I know that you must be strong with the force. I can feel it. I might not be force sensitive myself but I can-“she waved her hands searching for words to explain it settling on, “just feel it and you sir give off something so strong I only ever felt in the presence of Rey. Now that I think about it you two do feel pretty similar.”

That thought put a wonderous look on Korras face. “I guess it is lucky you two found each other then. Being this matched in the force.”

You have no idea, Ben thought still ravelling with what Korra was telling him. He couldn’t remember how often he had wished not to be connected to the force. He had envisioned how his life might have looked without it.

“Oh no now you look sad. I didn’t mean to say something upsetting. I don’t want these beautiful dark eyes to look so sad.”

Korra took a step towards Ben, surprising him with how close she came. Ben wasn’t so sure anymore that Korra was making fun of him.

"Are you flirting with me?" Ben asked bluntly. Even he had caught on to the remarks she was making but hadn’t really connected it but with her being this close even he couldn’t ignore it.

"Yes I am.” She gave him a wink “but don't worry I know when a man is taken. But then again flirting doesn't hurt anyone."

Ben just stared at her in befuddlement which Korra interpreted as unease.

"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable"

Ben suddenly snapped out of It, "No… It just… Noone ever really flirted with me"

Now it was Korras turn to be confused.

"I don't believe that. I mean look at you."

She was now gesturing at all of him. Ben understood that she meant that he was supposed to be attractive, but he sure never had felt like it.

She continued on to explain why she liked being this flirtatious with other people and finished by saying, "so you see I kind of do it often. Therefore, nothing to feel uncomfortable about I get there is someone else on your mind. But I probably will continue do it anyways because your utter befuddlement is just too good to pass up. But then again the only person on this base with good comebacks is Poe."

There is a short silence with Korra somewhere in thought when Ben gave out a short huff.

"Well now I don't feel that special anymore."

Korra looked up in surprise bevor she started laughing. "And he got humour. Rey is one lucky girl." Her laugh turned into a giggle. Ben's eyes widened at the mention of Rey. "Don't look at me like that. I see the way you two eye each other." She lifted a finger, "don't even try to deny it."

"I wasn't. At least about me. I'm not so sure about Rey tough." He was surprised how open he was about it.

"Well, I can't say for sure what she might be feeling but what I'm sure about is that see cares about you a lot. When you were out, we had to almost drag her away just to clean herself up and she spend the rest of the time at your side. Well until you woke up."

Ben heard steps bevor he felt her and then she already was in the cabin. Rey gave Korra a soft smile. "Hey."

"Hey Rey. We were just talking about you." Korra turned her head giving Ben a mischievous smile which made Ben blush right away.

"You were?" Rey asked with one eyebrow raised.

Korra gave Rey no answer and continued, "Well your man here healed quite fast already. He is even allowed to walk again."

Korra looked up at Ben now addressing him. "Your ribs still need time to heal and you should take it easy but with what I've seen healing wise they should be manageable within a week."

Ben wasn't sure if Rey had caught on to Korras teasing but if she did, it wasn’t showing on her face. Their bond was feeling stronger, but it still was nothing near to how it used to be and he couldn’t quite read her standing there.

Her duty done Korra gave Ben one last sly smile and turned to Rey as she walked out. "Always nice seeing you Rey."

Now alone with Rey he had a good look at her. She definitely looked better than yesterday but if you looked closely, you could still see a slightly haunted look in her eyes. Ben wanted nothing more than to hold her and give her the feeling of being safe, but he wasn’t even sure if she wanted that.

"How are you doing?", Rey inquired.

"I'm alright." Ben felt everything else than alright but what else was he supposed to say. I feel like I'm falling apart? It scares me that our bond is like that? He just wanted to be near her and the urge to close the space between them was overwhelming.

But Ben just sat there too scared to do anything in fear of bursting this little bubble where he hadn’t been rejected by her yet.

The resolve he had felt when he had run to Rey and the feeling and reassurance, he was met with was now nothing more than a memory and he felt more unsure about it with each passing moment.

The more surprised Ben was when Rey closed the space between them standing very close in front of him grabbing his hand.

“Come with me. I want to show you something.” Her voice was soft but it was laced with excitement.

******

Rey knew she had to deal with the task of telling Chewie and Maz about Ben, but when she saw him standing there in front of her, he looked haunted and he clearly hadn't sleep well. She was lucky that a lot of the resistance had left already taking a well-deserved break bevor the task of rebuilding would begin. Therefore, on the base only Chewie and Maz were left that knew who Ben was and most of the others left she could avoid.

The idea had come to her in the early morning hours when she had given up on getting any good sleep and tried meditating. Rey had felt it immediately. The force within her felt weak as if the connection was fuzzy. The thought had come naturally. What if Ben was the same, felt the same? Maybe that was the reason that their bond didn't feel right.

When she heard that he could walk again she didn’t hesitate, wanting to find out if she was right. She had taken a step forward and grabbed his hand. Rey saw the surprise on his face but ignored it, pulling Ben along. Rey took the longer way that led them around the base towards the area in the woods where she used to meditate. When they had walked quite a bit and were far away from the base that the only sound you could hear around you were from the forest, Ben stopped pulling Rey to a halt.

"Okay where are we going?" Ben seemed more relaxed somehow, even a little smile was playing around his full lips.

She looked down at their hands. She had totally forgotten that she had taken it so determined to get to where she was going. Rey wanted to let go, but Ben has holding her hand firmly showing no sign of letting go. His eyes on her pulled her back.

"We are almost there.", was all she could get out suddenly fully aware that she was alone with him standing very close to each other.

So, she turned around, again pulling him along. Now more aware of his hand, she realised that their touch made it easier to feel him in the force.

When Rey suddenly stopped, Ben stumbled into her because he was looking around obviously feeling the same that Rey had discovered when they had made base on this planet.

The deeper you got into the forest the stronger it got. To Rey it always felt like the force was pushing through her here. She let go on Ben's hand to let herself slide down into a meditation pose. Ben looked down at her where she placed herself finally catching on to why she had led them here and let himself down slowly in front of her.

"I think with what happened, at least my force connection, it’s off." She spoke in almost a whisper. Ben's silence she took as a confirmation. For some reason she was scared to say it out loud and so she continued in a low voice.

"I hope that when we are more connected with the force again, that our bond will be back as well." She wasn't able to look Ben in the eyes afraid she couldn't hide how bad she wanted to feel it again.

A wave hit her when Ben grabbed her hands. He was pushing a feeling of relief and agreement towards her bevor he even spoke.

"I hope that too."

Without another word they settled themselves and opened their minds. Bit by bit she was able to connect herself back to it. Rey could feel Ben's presence physically and through the force now clearly. It wasn’t like when they connected through the bond but rather like he was just letting her into his mind. But where she had found calmness and determination Rey gradually felt Ben unravel. His mind found with reconnecting with the force again much that had been buried and things he clearly wanted to forget. Images flashed bevor them and the emotions thickly followed. Rey felt hot tears running down her face more from his emotions than hers. She could feel Ben trying to hold himself together ignoring it all and pushing on, but it thickly overwhelmed him.

His hands ripped out of hers and the connection was cut. Rey opened her eyes finding Ben breathing heavily with his head turned away from her but obviously with tears on his face. They both calmed themselves. Rey dried of her tears and scrambled forwards to be closer to Ben, wanting to help him somehow.

"Ben?" She asked lowly.

"I'm sorry."

Rey wasn't sure what he was apologizing for with their connection lost again his mind closed for her. But bevor Rey could ask he continued.

"I do want this to work. But I don't know if it will. It might just be too broken. I might be..." Ben's voice was still ridden with tears.

She signed. "Ben." She wanted him to look at her and not shut her out when he finally did his eyes looked sad.

"I think we both might be not as sound as we could be." She tried.

"But you were fine. I was the one that couldn't hold it anymore." Ben almost sounded angry.

Rey searched her mind for words to make him understand. "Your path has been a much longer one than mine." Rey tried to console him. Ben looked at Rey clearly not understanding a word she said.

"You sound like my uncle." His voice swayed with bitterness.

But it made Rey giggle. He was right it sounded cryptic, so she tried explained herself. "I just mean. My path with the force is shorter because I only found out about this all shortly bevor we first met."

Had it really only been a few years. It felt like a lifetime ago that she had been on Jakku. She pushed her thoughts aside and continued.

"And you. I mean, you knew your whole life and in that time a lot has happened."

He seemed to consider her explanation piercing her with his dark eyes. She just wanted him to be happy or at least not feel guilty for taking his time. She moved even closer putting her hands on his cheeks like she only did one’s bevor and assured him.

"I did not think everything would go back in an instance. Maybe I hoped it would." She gave him a small smile. "But I most definitely didn’t believe it would."

She could feel the heat radiating from Ben making her suddenly unsure of herself, but she took what little courage she had and continued.

"And if we can't bring back our bond at least we still have us?" It was supposed to be a statement but came out more like a question doubt suddenly riddling her.

She had let her hands fall away while she had said the last part wanting to touch him even more now. As if he could read her mind, he pulled her close into a hug which she answered happily. His head sunk into her shoulder and they stayed like this for a moment. When they let go, they stayed close to each other a tension building up that Rey could feel in her bones. They were as close to each other as on Exagol. She suddenly remembered how his lips had felt on hers only to be rudely ripped out of her thoughts when she heard a sound to their left.

Rey heard voices now. No just one voice and a low growl. Chewie. Rey’s eyes widened her mind racing. Why were they here? Did they know? She should have gotten to that first. She scrambled up trying to think what to do when they broke through the trees into the clearing. She subconsciously realised Ben had placed himself partly in front of her. Was he trying to shield her? She wasn’t the one in danger here.

Chewie and Maz had spotted them. Rey could almost feel Ben vibrating with anticipation. Chewie hadn’t moved he was standing at the forest edge starring at Ben. She should defuse the situation somehow but was overwhelmed by the mere point that she couldn’t read the situation and couldn’t read Chewie. But bevor she could act, Maz took the word.

“Now that we are all here there is nothing more to do. I would have liked that you would have told me bevor this one found out.” She pointed up at Chewie. “Doesn’t matter now.”

Maz ignored Chewie still unmoved beside her and moved up to Ben. She motioned him to come down to her to what he obeyed surprisingly without hesitation.

“You gave a lot of heartbreak to your parents young man. You went far off you path I would say.” She had a stern look on her face, but it softened when she continued speaking. “But I’m glad you here. I’m happy that their effort wasn’t for nothing.” She let go of Bens shoulder and turned away.

“I’ve said all I wanted. I will leave now. Rey would you come with me? I think these two should have a moment alone.”

Rey looked back and forth between the three. She settled her eyes on Ben almost questioning if that was what he wanted. She knew he could hold himself against Chewie, but her fear was more because she believed Ben wouldn’t. As if he was understanding he took her hand squeezed it shortly and gave Rey a barely noticeable nod. Rey still felt uneasy leaving Ben alone with Chewie sill not able to read the big Wookies demeanour. But Maz was waiting at the edge of the forest her eyes demanding Rey to follow.

******

Ben didn’t know what to do. Chewie hadn’t moved since Maz and Rey had left them in the clearing. The last time he had seen the Wookie was in an interrogation room where he had been trying to find out what Rey was doing. The memory filled him with regret and sorrow. He had made so many mistakes. In that moment he didn’t feel like he even deserved to be alive. He had been the reason for so many deaths. He was the reason his dad, Chewie’s friend was dead. Who could he ever forgive something like that? Chewie gave a soft whine bevor he took two long strides closing the distance between Ben and himself.

Ben didn’t want to shrink from Chewie, because he believed whatever came at him, he deserved all of it. But when the huge Wookie came at him, his unintentional reaction was to flinch. Chewie was in front of him bevor he could get any kind of distance between them and then he had him.

When Chewie’s arms screw themselves around Ben, the air was pushed out of his lungs. It took only a moment bevor Chewie loosened the grip around him, making Ben realise Chewie wasn’t punish him for what he had done.

>It is good to have you back.<

Ben had no idea what to do or say, he felt paralyzed. Chewie ended the one-sided hug and held Ben at arm’s length, having a look at him. Ben forced himself to contain himself, knowing if he would just break a little all would spill over. He was scared to say anything, not trusting his own voice at this point. Chewie took a step back, when Ben gave no real reaction watching him and looking like he was mulling something in his head.

> I want you to have this. < Chewie opened his satchel pulling something out holing it in his closed hand. When Chewie dropped his father’s dices into Bens hand, Ben just stared at them lying there.

All these memories flooded in taking his breath away. He felt like the little boy again that had no idea of the world and only wanted to be like his dad. Ben had tried to contain himself the whole time, but this was too much for him. The deep sorrow and guilt he felt for all of it came crushing in. His tears ran freely now his body started to shake from him sobbing. He had lost so much, and it was all his own fault and there was nothing he could do about it anymore but accept it and Ben was far from accepting all the things he had done. He closed the fingers around the dices one of the only things he had left of his father.

Chewie gave out a howl not saying anything but giving his own sorrow a voice and embraced Ben holding him tight. Ben sank into Chewies fur holding on to it as he had when he was little. How could anyone forgive him for what he had done? Why were they taking him back? Ben didn’t know how to handle them being this indulgent. He knew how to act around Poe and Finn who clearly didn’t want him here but this.

“I’m so sorry.” Chewie pulled Ben away, holding him far enough away from him to see his face.

>We have a lot to talk about but that can wait for now.<

He took Ben back in the hug and waited until Bens breath had slowed again bevor, he released him and awkwardly patted Bens head.

>Lets go back.<

Ben had calmed himself, drying his face, taking a few deep breaths bevor, he followed Chewie back to the base. He still had his father’s dices in his hand. Ben looked at them on the way back but put them in his pocket as they neared the base.

On his way to find Rey, Korra intercepted him.

“Hey handsome. So, we meet again.” She gave him a smile.

“Korra.” Ben was still not sure how to respond to her remarks.

“I actually was looking for you. With most of the people leaving the base I take over some of the tasks let over. Today I found myself being assigned to organizing accommodation and I realized that you might like a place to stay. I took the liberty and got you a room for now until you figure out what you want to do.”

“Thanks.”, was all he could manage still put off by how Korra handled herself but realizing he rather liked it. It was pretty straight forward, and he knew what to expect by now.

“No problem. Then let’s go. I show you where it is. I also found some more clothes for you.”

She handed him some folded pieces he hadn’t noticed bevor. He accepted them without an argument just following Korra.

The room was very basic. When Korra had left him, he had put down the clothes at the end of the bed and sat down next to them. He took a breath and pulled his father’s dices out of his pocket. They felt heavy in his hand.

There was a knock on the door. It was Rey who stuck in her head, meeting his eyes.

“You alright?”

There was concern on her face. He was wondering how bad he looked and if it was anything close to the way he actually felt. He was hunched forward, leaning his forearms on his thighs. Ben had looked up when Rey had entered but hadn’t moved any further. As an answer he gave Rey a weak smile but couldn’t muster anything else bevor he let his head sink again and closed his eyes. The dices were still in his clutches hand. What kind of wreck he was.

He heard her approach but couldn’t face her yet, his mind and emotions in turmoil. Ben lifted his hand to cover his face, trying to hide from Rey even though he knew there was nowhere to hide from her, she could feel him even though their rather weak bond. She put her hands around the fist that was clutching onto the last piece he had of his father.

Her touch was still as electrifying as ever, shortly ripping him out of his dark thoughts. Ben let his hand fall from his face. Rey was kneeling in front of him, her head tilted and searching his face. She looked so lovely heat radiating of off her like she was her own sun. He felt how she was pushing her feelings trough their bond, clearly trying to console him. Surprisingly, it did help and calm him and more so entranced him. Her eyes had Ben captured. Did she have any idea what she did to him?

Without consciously intending he lifted his free hand and placed it on the side of Rey’s face. At the contact Rey took in a sharp breath which yanked Ben out of his trance. He was suddenly aware that she might not want this kind of intimacy, that he might have overstepped a line and let his hand fall away again. She has said that they still had each other regardless of the state of their bond. In the moment, these words had meant more to him than she could imagine and with his words failing him he had to show her how important this was for him, pulling her close to him into a hug had been necessary part. But now he realised that having each other didn’t necessarily include all the things he wanted.

Rey was about to say something when suddenly there was another knock on the door and the pilot entered.

“Hey” Poe gave an awkward wave. “Finn and I have some things we would like to discuss and need some input.”

“Yes, I’ll be there in a moment.” Rey gave Poe a nod and stood up from the floor.

“Well actually, I meant him.” Poe pointed at Ben, who was even more surprised that Rey looked.


	5. A stupid plan

Poe and Finn had come up with the idea. They wanted to dismantle the last bit of the First Order and in the same sweep try and rehabilitate the willing stormtroopers. They were reluctant but at the chance that Ben would know where to start they had given in and it wasn’t that farfetched, but Rey worried how he would react to being confronted with his old alliance.

“We figured you might know, where we can find holdovers of the first order.”, Poe finished his monologue.

Rey couldn’t read Ben, his features calm and resigned. He was looking at the chart open in front of him silently dragging out the silence they were left in after Poe’s explanation.

“Ben?” Rey wasn’t sure why he wasn’t reacting.

He looked at her clearly ripped out of thoughts. Now it was Poe that couldn’t wait for an answer anymore.

“And? Do you know?”

“I don’t think I can help you with that. Your intel would probably be more accurate at this point.” Ben addressed Poe but surely looked back to the map.

“You can’t or you won’t?” Finn hadn’t said anything since they all had taken their places around the map.

He still wasn’t okay with the whole situation. Rey understood that, but this was unnecessary. Rey gave him an angry look and was surprised that even Poe gave Finn an annoyed look. Ben on the other had ignored Finn altogether still staring intently at the map, occasionally running his hand through his hair.

Rey stepped closer to Ben, putting her hand on his forearm. She sensed that he was mulling something over and wasn’t sure if he should say anything.

“What is it Ben? I can see there is something you want to say.”

He looked down at her, his dark eyes still having the same effect on her as always, which gave her goosebumps. Looking at her had apparently settled the discussion he had had with himself because he stepped towards the controls of the holomap and zoomed towards a system and then a specific constellation.

When only a planet with four moons were left bevor them, he lifted his hand and pointed at the larges of the moons.

“There.”, he began.

“What is there?” Poe leaned on the table taking a closer look at the moon, Ben had pointed to.

“It is a data centre, or well the data centre.”

“Data centre?” Rey wasn’t following.

Ben took a step back, crossing his arms in front of his chest, taking a defensive stance. He looked back and forth between the three while he explained.

“It is rather complicated, but after some issues that couldn’t be fixed there was a station built on that moon. In that station all information about the First Order is stored.”

“What do you mean all information?”

“I mean everything. Every data log, plans of ships, built or in development. All information about staff including where each stormtrooper came from.” With that last part Ben’s eyes fixed on Finn.

Finn held Ben’s gaze; his eyes widened with the implication Ben just had made.

“You mean there is a file in that station where it says where I’m from?”

“Yes. All information collected is stored there. What means that there would also be information about whereabouts of different stations.”

Maybe Poe could also see the reluctance in Bens face. “I feel a BUT coming.”

Ben let out a big sigh, putting his hands on his hips.

“Well, yes. This moon is let call it special. There is a reason this planet was chosen for this base. It is surrounded by a fog, you could call it, that is more that difficult to fly trough.”

“What does that mean exactly?” Rey intertwined not completely understanding where this was going. Ben looked at Rey.

“I could explain you in detail what exactly is going on in that fog, but I think the only important thing is that you can’t just fly through it towards the moon’s surface. The ship would just stop working and plumage on the surface.” With the last statement he made the motion of a ship exploding, making Rey raise her brows but also put a little smirk on her face the image of Ben so different to what she was used to.

“Then how does the first order get on and off?” Finn challenge Ben, but Ben didn’t react to Finn’s tone and answered simply.

“We got specific ships for that. There would be a transport picking you up at your ship fly you down and later up again. The ships that could navigate through the fog weren’t any good for anything else.”

“Could we just build one?”

“If we had the plans and the material. I guess but you have neither and I don’t think you have the time for it.”

“What exactly happens in the fog? I mean to the ship?” Rey was wondering if they could find a way around the problem. If she was good at one thing than solving problems.

“Well basically the electronics completely fail, as if the ship would get any power anymore, like it got sucked out.”

“That means that we would need to get power up again after we are through the fog to land safely?” Rey hat fully turned to Ben. He also was only facing her now and only addressing Rey.

“Basically. But it isn’t at easy you would need to have an isolated power source to make that happen.” Apparently, he had picked up where Rey was going. “And let’s say all that works it might not be enough to slow down enough to land safely.”

“Maybe for an ordinary pilot.” Rey gave Ben a sly smirk which put a little smile on his face, but he still shook his head.

“But you would still need a power source isolated like the ships made for the journey and I don’t see you having the material for it.”

Rey remained silent, out of ideas she just looked up at Ben who looked as defeated as she felt. She had been too focused on Ben and the exchange they just had that she almost forgotten her friends standing on the other side of the map. In consequence she almost jumped when Poe spoke again.

“This means there is a base where all the information that we need is stored but we have no way to get there.”

“But we will find a way.” Finn seemed overly confident in them and placed a hand on Poe’s shoulder.

“Well maybe, but we still have other things to tend to and for now we’ll postpone this talk to later.” He turned to Finn holding on to the man’s arm. “I know you want this, and we’ll get to it later.”

There was an intimacy between these two that Rey hadn’t noticed like this bevor, but she couldn’t dwell on it more when Poe found this discussion to be over and shuffled off with Finn in tow.

When Poe and Finn had left, Rey took Bens hand pulling him away from the holomap.

“I need your help with something.”, she just said, and Ben didn’t protest and let himself be pulled behind her. This apparently was becoming a habit of hers, but Ben didn’t mind it at all.

He wasn’t sure where she was leading him to but also could care less. All he could concentrate on was her hand in his and the sensation of her skin on his.

When she abruptly stopped Ben ran into her - again. Surprised by the sudden contact Rey turned and put a step between them. She gave Ben a look and followed his sight to their hands. When she let go of his hand the loss of contact tore at something inside him.

Ignoring whatever had just happened Rey climbed up into the little cave he just realised they were standing in front. She settled down in front of some boxes, opening one and purposely picked out a book.

Ben was still oblivious to Rey intend but was too distracted by his surroundings to work out why she had pulled him here. He let his eyes roam over the space in the cave cramped full of what he supposed was her equipment and belongings. He let his eyes roam further and in the far end of the cave lay a mattress and a blanket. In that moment Ben realised that this wasn’t just a place where she stored her stuff but where she slept.

With that revelation he found Rey’s eyes finding her already starring at him.

“You know there are rooms for the rebels?” Ben asked teasingly.

Rey’s face lit up and a small smile played around her lips.

“I do. But they always were too loud and crowded and I felt watched. So, I found myself this.” She gestured around herself. “I know it’s not really a room and not much but…” Rey didn’t continue and her smile had dropped.

“I like it.” Ben simply said.

Rey’s jerked her head back towards him the smile he was hoping for again forming on her lips.

“You do?” her eyebrows rose with the question, even though Ben wasn’t sure why she was surprised about it.

“Yes. This looks more like you and it doesn’t feel too clean, sterile.”

Rey gave out a annoyed snort, but just shook her head and pointed next to her.

“Sit down.”

Obediently Ben lowered himself along the caves wall down into a sitting position. A sharp pain burst through his side; his rips still not fully healed. He moved himself to relieve the tension put on this still sore side.

Ben was not oblivious that Rey could feel his pain through their still weak bond but did his best not to show any discomfort in his face.

Thankfully, Rey didn’t comment on any of his turmoil and just scootched closer with the now open book to place it in front of him.

“I’ve been trying to understand these texts.” Ben gabbed the book from the floor to inspect what he had bevor him. He recognised it and looked up at Rey with wonder.

“This is one of the books from Luke. Did you steal them?” He raised his brows at Rey but was only met with a glint in her eyes coupled with a devilish smirk.

“I wouldn’t call it stealing. I liberated them.” Rey let out a short giggle.

That sound stirred something inside him he couldn’t yet identify but made him more so eager to help her in any way he could.

Huddled over the book together they unrevealed the passage Rey had gotten stuck on. In the end Rey gave out just a annoyed huff because the passage didn’t make more sense to her even after the help Ben had lend her.

Even though he had tried to hold off any pressure from his injured side he could feel that sitting in this cramped position wasn’t helping. Trying to get in a better position the sharp pain again tor through his body. This time he couldn’t hold back the wince escaping his mouth which Rey picked up on way to easily.

“Lay down.” She almost commanded.

Not picking up on her meaning right away, Ben looked up to her and saw her pointing towards the mattress lying in the deepest part of the cave.

He first thought about protesting but another sting in his side made him silent and obedient.

With as much care he could muster he placed himself on the mattress that faintly smelled like Rey. He closed his eyes relaxing his body and calming his mind.

A yawn escaped him, and he suddenly felt very heavy. He had forgotten how tired he was and couldn’t deny that Rey’s presence was more than calming his mind and nerves.

Ben didn’t want to fall asleep, but Rey had stopped discussing the paragraph they had been working on and the soft rustling of pages and her low breathing all but lulled him into deep sleep.

When glid back to wakefulness it was soft and slowly compared to how he normally startled awake from a nightmare or another. It took him a moment to remember where he was but surprisingly these few seconds weren’t filled with fear.

When he moved his head, he found Rey still sitting by the books deep in thought. Ben bathed himself in the feeling that he was able to watch her like this really being in the same place in the galaxy with Rey. He marvelled in how the light looked on her skin, how she scrunched her nose in thought, how her hair flowed over her shoulder.

Rey must have felt his eyes on her finding his. She gave him a soft smile that warmed him to his toes.

“How are you feeling?” She kept her voice low.

“Better.” It was an unsure answer, still not used to someone caring enough.

She put the books away and picked up the food on the entrance of the cave.

“Korra brought us some food.” Rey offered as an explanation for the two plates she was now positioning on the boxes next to her.

Ben lifted himself slowly and moved to sit opposite to Rey the boxes with the plates on it left of them. Rey hadn’t placed the boxes or plates between them and therefore Ben was closer to her then he anticipated while settling down to eat. The proximity gave him a rush when her legs touched his when she settled herself as well. He pushed all these feelings aside and concentrated on the food.

“So, while you had your slumber”, she teased “I thought about our problem again.”

“Which one?” Ben wasn’t trying to annoy her or anything he earnestly wasn’t sure if they had anything else but problems.

“The moon fog one. I still not sure I have a solution but then again I don’t know how the fog works. Maybe you could explain it to me again.”

“I don’t think that explaining it would make any difference and I’m not even sure if I could do it right. But with my slumber” he said pointedly “I did have an idea, even though it’s not a good one.”

“Well, tell me anyway.” She gave him a soft smile and picked up some food.

For the remaining time they took to finish their meal they mulled over the plan they had started to develop from Ben’s idea.

Lost in their conversation they had gotten closer to one another. They had fallen silent, the air around them felt heavy and made Ben’s skin prickle. She was as close to him that he could almost feel her breath on his skin. With their bond still very much not fully intact he couldn’t figure out what the emotion behind Rey’s eyes meant. All he knew was the longing he felt to get even closer to her.

But the tension was abruptly cut when Poe appeared out of nowhere next to them. Ben wasn’t sure if he was glad or angry at the pilot for disrupting the situation. He realised that he was scared. Rey was all Ben had, he couldn’t lose her and whatever they had it felt fragile without their bond to reassure him.

******

They were all around the holomap again. Additionally, Korra and Rose had joined the group. She understood Rose being with them here but couldn’t quite find a reason for Korras presence.

“So, you DO have a solution for our problem?” Poe started right away facing Ben.

Ben wasn’t happy about the idea they had, and Rey didn’t need to be bonded to him because it was plainly written all over his face.

When Ben didn’t answer Poe’s question Rey intercepted. “Yes, we do. But it isn’t really fail-roof plan and we still need to work out some…”

“Not fail-proof.” Ben huffed. “More a stupid plan.”

“I thought this was your plan to begin with.” Poe interrupted.

“Doesn’t mean that isn’t a stupid idea nevertheless.” Ben gave out a low chuckle with his self-degrading answer.

Rey let out an angry growl shutting both men up.

“Anyway,”- she continued speaking to the rest of the group -” the plan is basically to fly in the fog to the surface with an old ship we can leave behind and steal on of theirs to get off the moon again where someone picks us up.”

“Doesn’t sound such a stupid plan to me.” Poe intermitted.

“Well, it is definitely not a good plan.” Rose pointed out.

“But didn’t you say that we would just crash if we do that? I mean fly trough the fog and then...” Finn didn’t finish the sentence but made the same explosion gesture Ben had made in their earlier conversation.

“We do have a solution for that. Kind of.” Rey scrunched her face.

Ben and she had discussed that part in detail. Even went so far to design the solution partly. When Rey didn’t elaborate Ben continued.

“Without any power and therefore engine we would most likely crash and die. But there a way to steer a ship without all that. Well maybe not steer but glide. The idea is that we would convert an old ship partly into a glider. The landing would still be pretty rough but at least there would be a chance to survive.”

“Wau this really is a stupid plan.” Korra had been until now silent throughout this exchange.

Rey still not completely understood why Korra was here even though the rest of Rebels on the base weren’t. Not a lot of people had stayed on the base either going home to family, having in general a break or set out for the next base where they would start building on their win against the First Order. Rey had seen Korra a few times now, but never really registered the woman. She was taller than Rose and her skin much darker but also a lot lighter than Finns. But dark enough that her almost white hair gave a stark contrast to her skin. Her unruly curls were only tamed by the bun Korra had forced them into.

“Especially if I read these specifics of the planet right the air isn’t all that breathable.” Korra lifted a Datapad she was holding and while searching something on it continued. “I think I do have a ship that would be usable for this plan and I will definitely check on masks. You should make me a list what else you need and like how much of what I need to acquire for you.” She looked up at the other wating for an answer.

“We haven’t really talked about who will come on this mission. So, I guess we’ll come back to that.” Poe confessed. “I will pilot the ship…”

Ben grunts interrupting Poe which earned him a sharp look from him. Ben hadn’t seen the face of the others including Poe because he had been looking at the ground since the last time he spoke.

“What’s your problem Solo?” Poe countered.

That made Ben look up and he explained. “You will need someone with supernatural piloting skills.”

“Poe is an excellent pilot.” Rey pointed out but Ben shook his head.

“That’s not what I mean. I literally mean supernatural in you will need to be guided by the force through the fog. As good a Poe might think he is, he wouldn’t have any reading from the ship itself or could see anything outside with his eyes.”

Poe hadn’t even asked Rey if she would come with them on the mission, but Ben’s explanation would force her to do it either way. She had planned to accompany them anyway but this didn’t solve their problem in her opinion.

“And how am I supposed to do it. I don’t usually fly without seeing where I’m going.” Rey was trying to protest towards his reasoning, but she already knew it was futile and that Ben was right.

“But you are extremely force sensitive and Poe isn’t. And if you guys want to go there, which I again must warn you is a stupid thing to do, then you need to pilot the ship.”

She could feel that he didn’t like the idea either but wanted to give them as big of a chance as he could.

“But I don’t know how.” She stated blatantly.

“That never stopped you bevor.” He gave her one of his devilish smiles that she just couldn’t get enough off paired off by images he was pushing into her mind.

His memories of her fighting him in the interrogation, in the snow, the rest flashed bevor her to fast and fuzzy to make them out clearly but she had gotten the point he was trying to make. Rey knew that she had used the force often without having explicitly learned how to do it. What Ben didn’t realise was in doing so he had settled a discussion she had had with herself.

Again, they had been caught in their own reality forgetting everything around them in their back and forth. The silence that had spread between them while they were having a stare off was interrupted by a coff clearly directed at them to clear the tension that had built around them.

Ben looked up first, Rey was still a bit to mesmerized by the feelings he so clearly woke inside her. She pulled her head out of the haze and turned to the rest.

“Fine. I’ll do it.” She spit out and then turned back to Ben. “But you are coming with us.”

Ben turned his head back to her his brows furrowed and his dark eyes flaring up in question. It gave Rey a little satisfaction that he hadn’t caught on to the realisation his memories had given her.

She took another step towards him closing the distance that only an arm’s length was between them looking up at him with her arms crossed bevor her.

“You are right it never stopped me bevor though you overlooked a vital aspect.” She paused. “You.” Rey watched his expression change but continued. “In all those situations you are referring to the constancy was always you in one way or another.”

Ben just starred at her silently, but Rey could see the emotions and thoughts racing through his head and plainly over his face.

The others couldn’t understand half of what was going on in that moment and it didn’t help that the obviously were oblivious to the information passed between them. Rey had thought there would come objections from the rest, but everyone was as silent as Ben.

“Then the plan stands? What do we need?” Poe again interrupted the stare mate Ben and Rey had found themselves in.

They set out the plan and the next days would be used to fortify an old ship to be able to survive the crash they would definitely have. The day was nearing the end, but they still set out to start working on the ship that still clearly needed some modifications. 


End file.
